Fixing Your Hot And Cold Relationship Work

By Olivia Rostigus

Dealing with relationships that are up one day and down the next is very difficult indeed. Not knowing what you will face from hour to hour is depressing at best. There are ways to help you get through these times and hopefully, on to better ones.

He's pulled back and you really don't know why. You don't know if he's going to call you or is it over. One day he's on, the next he's off. What does all of this really mean? Maybe it's not you.

The first thing women do when he stops calling is to feel that it must be something they have done to cause it. Did she say the wrong thing? Did she do something he didn't like? A sinking feeling leads to filling in the blanks about what may or may not have happened.

She wonders why he hasn't called lately and blames herself. She wonders if the relationship is over or maybe he really has someone else that she doesn't know about. She wonders what she may have said or done that caused him to change his pattern.

At this point, women tend to over-contact him which is not the correct response. Her concern is real, but, when she gets no response, she becomes overly anxious and doesn't know what to do except keep trying to contact him. This is not what should happen at this point.

This is the point where women need to pull back and assess the reality of the situation before making any more moves at all. Usually, they have been the one initiating the calls/texts and when they suddenly stop, fear sets in that he's gone. They need to take a huge break from this in a big way.

When he stops contacting you, it is time to wait and do nothing. Let him do the pursuing as that is his biological nature. Basically, ignore him for a while.

- Stop trying to contact him at all

- Make him wonder what you are doing, instead of the other way around

- Make yourself scarce for a few days

- Ignore his calls in the evenings or Saturday and Sunday

- Go into stealth mode

If he contacts you and wants to come over 'tonight' tell him you have other plans or that you are too tired. This will encourage him to plan ahead and have respect for you and the relationship. He needs to learn to work for what he wants and not have it just be given to him whenever he wants attention from you.

If he suddenly ceases to have regular contact with you, this is not the time to start contacting him. Fill your life up with friends and people from your work. Don't let him think you are wasting away thinking about him by your phone. When enough time goes by, he'll call which is when you shouldn't call back right away.

Playing hard to get encourages men to go get what they really want. And, they will if you set the tone. Pulling back from you is a sign that maybe he isn't really worth the effort or that he takes you for granted. You need to break his pattern of that and it can be done. And you can by following the steps above. If he doesn't respond, it is time to move on and quickly.

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