According to Menshealth.com's Jill Yaworski a recent study revealed people regret love mistakes twice as much as wrong turns involving work. And the biggest cause of those mistakes I see are some widespread relationship lies that both sexes believe, not knowing that it's ruining their chances at a happy ending.
If your relationship isn't going according to plan, I'm going to reveal three top lies ordinary men (and women) believe and decode the truth behind them, so you can stop regretting and start relishing.
I've seen myths and misconceptions keep men banging their head against the wrong door for years. Stop wasting your time, learn to recognize these lies in action in your sex life.
1. It's about compromise. Ordinary men hold back in relationships. They don't want to be the control freak jerk they hear about in the tabloids and on Dr. Phil and The View. So, they say, "Yes, dear." and "What do you want to do?" They are content to be the breadwinner and take a back seat at home. Except sometimes when a real problem crops up and their woman comes crying to them about it. Now ordinary man thinks: This is it. Here's my big chance. "Okay, honey, here's what we're going to do." He says. But it's too late. She's already on the phone with her father or uncle. What happened? You compromised. I'll let you in on a secret that even she doesn't know. Deep down inside a part of her is waiting for you to step up your game. Even the whole time she's on the phone crying to Uncle Ray.
2. It's supposed to be fair. We learned that in grade school, right? Take turns. Share. Make sure no one is left out. Sounds great. Until you try to put it into play. Ordinary man negotiates: OK, sweetie, you had girls night last weekend, so this weekend is poker night for me. And don't get me wrong, that's a good place to start. But long term is that all there is? If it is, you're rearranging deck chairs on the Titannic. And you remember how that turns out. It wasn't Leo DiCaprio found floating on the hunk of wood by the rescue boat. But that's okay. Because he understood. He wasn't going for fair. He was leaving a mark. He was steering. Not content to just water himself down, he forced her to choose, to get in the game, to grow. That's your opportunity.
3. Decisions have to be unanimous. This goes along with fair. We talk to her. We want to know if it's okay that we buy the SUV. If the decision to set up a separate savings account for the discretionary expenses is something she approves of. We try to convince her. We explain the pros and cons. We want her input. All good things. But the problem is ordinary man expects his woman to communicate like a man. He expects her to choose a side. This isn't how women work. Women feel things. You talk about the pros, she feels optimistic. You talk about the cons, she gets worried. This whole scenario feels to her like you are pinning the decision on her and if something goes wrong... She doesn't want unanimous. She wants to be included, but she wants to be allowed to worry. She wants to be allowed to not know what is the right choice. She wants to be able to trust you. She wants you to be the man. She wants you to steer.
If you want to find out more about
- how to go from ordinary to anything but
- how steering is the best thing you can do for yourself and your woman.
- If you want to get started right away learning what steering is...
- how to do it...
- how to get your woman onboard...
then, sign up for the Fear Club Challenge: here. It's FREE.
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