Dale Carnegie Personal Development top 3 techniques for handling people shows simple but extremely effective that we can all do to influence others. I read the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People." You really should get a copy.
This is one of the all time best sellers, people keep talking so I picked up a copy.
Books for success are to give you an idea, or a stimulus or training to move from one place to another. We really become the sum of everything we eat. I enjoy reading these books - anything that can help me become a better person I need!
Sometimes these books are so logical, so basic that you wonder why they are the best sellers, how is it that they are so much about for so long. I mean - this book was published in 1930. But I've realized that for many people, they have never been trained from childhood how to deal with people, how to care for someone other than themselves, how to actually be to connect and lead people - these books break down so simply, anyone can improve their relationships.
How to Win Friends & Influence People
Dale Carnegie gives 3 tips in the first section of the book: Fundamental techniques in handling people. See how you rate yourself, they are invaluable in both our personal lives and our business lives.
1. Do not criticize, condemn or complain
Criticism, condemnation or complain just alienates and establishes other against you. He advises:
"When dealing with people, let us remember that we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity. "
Just think of a time when you knew it was true. What if someone criticized you, even if it was deserved, he makes you want to help that person or do something to make them happy? Or did you remove some, or get angry, irritated or annoyed.
The criticized person tends to justify, because they see things from their point of view. The fault is not in them, but others.
Any criticism only makes people defensive, angry and hurt. Ultimately the situation that will need to be changed.
Psychologists have proven in case studies that "animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much faster and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior."
Encourage good, with self-control and a lot of character must be the goal of all of us. "A great man (or woman) shows the greatness of the way he treats little men.
There are people who live to complain. Customers who phone or email and just want to rant, or maybe you have children and they have not done what you asked 10 times already. You must decide what kind of person you want to be known. Learn patience, understanding and "talk the good of everyone.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation
The observation of Dale Carnegie here is that the "deepest desire of human nature is the desire to be important." When you can make people feel important, you will have instant rapport. Take the time to thank others, recognize their contribution to something, notice even small things make others around you - they open their heart to you because you have taken care of what is their heart - their same!
"Here is a gnawing and flawless human hunger, and rare individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in the palm of his hand and" even the undertaker will be sorry when he dies.
One of the greatest assets you can develop in itself is the ability to truly appreciate and encourage those around you. Be generous with your praise and recognition of everyone you meet. Not a fake, mechanically, but truly and sincerely reach connect - it reap the amazing fruit.
He tells a story to illustrate this truth:
"According to this silly story, a farm at the end of a day's heavy work, set before her menfolks a pile chopped hay. And indignant when they asked if she had lost her mind, she replied: "Why, how do I know you will notice that I cooked for you men over the last twenty years and during that time I don ' I heard from? let me know that you were not just eating hay. "When a study was done a few years ago on women at large, what do you think was discovered to be the main reason wives ran away There was a lack of appreciation." And I would bet that a similar study of husbands leak came the same way. We often take our spouses so much for granted that we never let them know we appreciate them.
This is not flattery which we speak, and self-motivation words to appease someone, but true appreciation and recognition. You could work in an office where the cleaner comes and goes and you never stopped to say thank you. You could spend the receptionist or assistant supermarket checkout and never take the time to make them feel good. A simple thing can cause you to have influence and promote wherever you go.
3. Arouse in the other person feel like a
There is a quote in this section is fascinating, it is said:
"The only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get"
He elaborates saying
"The world is full of people who are grabbing and selfishness so that the rare person who tries generously in service to others is a huge advantage.
As a business owner you want to sell something to someone. This is good advice for your sales.
What your customer wants? In their own words, what are they looking for? When you can give them what they want, then you can show them how to get it, you have an unlimited potential to help your customers get exactly what they want. Spring action "of what we fundamentally desire ... '.
"Tomorrow, you may want to convince someone to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this person want to do" This issue will prevent us from rushing into a situation carelessness, frivolous chatter of our desires?.
He quotes Henry Ford as saying:
"If there is one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get another point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as yours.
If we all took a little time and worked on our personal development and attention to those around us, treating them as we would like to be treated, imagine how it would be. This sense of being accepted and important thing to build relationships both personally and professionally. These keys really start to separate the great from the ordinary, you really "win friends and influence people.